Vandals 62 - Furness 2^ndXV 15

Not for the first time in what is fast becoming their craziest season ever the rugby Gods played fast and loose with the Vandals’ emotions again on Saturday. A dazzling display including nine tries saw them clinch the points they needed to secure the second promotion spot in league 4 North. Despite weeks of desperately hoping to avoid their fate they accepted their lot manfully and enjoyed achieving promotion a full 4 minutes before Nelly’s six-pack brigade did the same on the on the big pitch. They joined in the club’s post match celebrations, even going so far as an impromptu open top tractor and trailer victory lap of the 1^stXV pitch. Imagine their annoyance then as they woke up suitably hungover on Sunday to find out that Blackburn had conceded their game the day before and become the third team to be chucked out of the league. With all points for and against Blackburn becoming null and void the Vandals slipped back to third place as Hawcoat Park benefited by leapfrogging a point ahead. The Barrow boys have completed their league fixtures so the Vandals still need a win or even a narrow defeat next week against Tarleton to reclaim the second spot that should already rightfully be theirs.

But let’s not let the madness of the league system detract from an excellent performance on the weekend. It’s not often you score more than 60 points and are the least successful of the three home teams on the day. With the 1^stXV scoring 118 points and the Vikings 103 on the other pitches it must surely have been a club record aggregate for the three home fixtures that will never be beaten.

Furness had turned up looking determined and with a fairly young team and it looked like a good performance would be needed to get what at the time was thought to be the vital win. The front row has rarely been unchanged this year and so it proved again. Riggers and Scotty forgot for a moment that they are still present players by joining the past players and ex Fylde 1^stXV Leg-Ends on the hospitality upstairs, meaning they were both talking tripe far earlier in the day than usual, I thought these big lads were supposed to be able to hold their drink! So Brian Cardwell again was the real legend as he filled in with Andy T on the other side and Mark Worsley a rose between two thorns as he made a welcome return after 6 weeks away. That well known double act Steady and Toddy brought their usual balletic grace and finesse to the second row and Martin Williams started in the back row with the regular incumbents the young and old Steves, Mr James and Mr Hodgkins. Patrick ‘pre-printed on the team sheet’ Townsend was at nine with skipper Phil Swindells also returning proving that we have a silky-skilled pint-sized playmaker as well as the 1^stXV. Sean Townsend and Andy Latus were many decades and many yards of pace apart on opposite wings with Dave Storey and Gary Andrews as close together in the centres as they are on nights out, they don’t like to be separated or they sulk. Ed Mahon took over the number 15 jersey although it was nice to see Satch on the sidelines watching after his recent mid-life emotional crisis. If we can arrange for a trained counsellor to join the medical team we might get Satch playing again next season, who knows. Thanks to Liam McCartan who nobly lent himself to Oldham against the Vikings and no doubt wishes he hadn’t.

So I guess I should tell you about the match at some point in this report. On a firm pitch and in pleasant weather the gauntlet was thrown down. Fylde made their usual strong start and there was a breathless 5 minutes of non-stop possession for the home side. They moved the ball from side to side testing out the Furness defence until an away defender entered the breakdown (no I’m not talking about your mental state again Satch) from the side and Ed Mahon stroked over the penalty for an early 3-0 lead. Strong play and good ball control starved Furness of possession and created pressure on the opposition defence. Dave Storey seems to have saved all his best rugby for the last month of the season and carved through the defence on 16 minutes before off-loading to Andy Latus who was tackled just short of the line. A 5 yard scrum was awarded and against a young pack the old heads of the Vandals knew what was needed. They got the ball to the back and gave Hodgy an arm chair ride to the line to dot down for the first of his 4 tries on the day and the first of four pushover tries for the team, an amazing amount for one game, showing what a potent attacking weapon an experienced scrum can be.

It wouldn’t be the Vandals though if they didn’t throw the odd piece of calamitous and sloppy play in to keep everyone interested. Their great play on the day was interspersed with the odd headless chicken moment and some shockingly bad passes. Now I’m not one to point fingers but the big fella’s four tries were matched by at least as many atrocious passes, no doubt a thinly disguised attempt to preserve his top try scorer status. A poor decision after a mark in their own 22 gave a penalty away which was kicked to make it 10-3 and on 22 minutes a loose pass by the bearded one saw Furness hack through 70 yards and only sterling covering work by Storey saved the scores from being tied. Fylde gathered their wits about them and got back to good sensible basics with Williams having an excellent first half tidying up anything loose and the whole pack getting Fylde over the gain line at will. They were at their best when putting in two or three drives then spinning the ball wide with the defence sucked in. On the half hour Andy T looked like he’d grounded the ball but the referee couldn’t be sure and awarded a 5 yard scrum leading to Hodgy’s second pushover of the day, again converted by Ed to make it 17-3. Two minutes later Furness produced their best move of the day slicing through the Fylde centres with real pace, even Gary in his magic boots couldn’t keep up and a good try was converted to make it 17-10.

The tries were now coming thick and fast as the game opened up. On 36 minutes Ed Mahon showed great strength and determination to burst through the tackle and he converted his own try for good measure. 24-10 soon became 31-10 as Phil Swindells made his customary gorgeous break of the day and timed the final pass to perfection to put Hodgy in the clear 30 yards out. Even though he is more used to scoring from much closer in the gangly galoot showed a clean pair of heels reminiscent of a petrified gazelle being pursued by a pack of lions and dotted down for a first half hat-trick. Ed converted again to make it 5 from 5 with the boot.

On half time Williams made way for Karl ‘Hit Man’ Harrison and Richard Stanier came on for Andrews. Fylde continued to press from the restart and forced another 5 yard scrum on 47 minutes with the inevitable consequence being a 4^thtry for Hodgy, Ed’s faultless kicking touch deserted him for the first time but it was 36-10. Andy Latus and Ed now made way for Chris Cardwell and Adam Kerr; Williams came back on for Hodgy and still Fylde showed no signs of taking their collective foot off the pedal. Williams and Harrison drove through making space for Stevie James to finish with Kerr converting and it was 43-10. Pete Tankard replaced Swindells and the multiple changes in personnel and positions in the backs perhaps contributed to the misunderstanding that saw Furness produce another incisive move in the backs to score and make it 43-15.

It was pretty much end-to-end stuff by now and the fine fare was being enjoyed by the crowd including our faithful Vandalettes, never mind Foxy on the first team pitch we have our own foxes than you very much. We had imported a couple of Cumbrian houseguests to swell the numbers and even some of the main crowd were in awe watching our game rather than the merciless mauling of Manchester, well either in awe or just amazed that men that old can still run for 80 minutes without needing oxygen masks. Both teams were having a go and kicking was a last resort. Having said that when Furness did spill the ball 25 yards out Patrick T toed the loose ball through and looked to be winning the race till he was muscled unfairly (and embarrassingly) off the ball by the diminutive Furness full back. Fair play to Podders, he looked sheepish when the penalty try was awarded, converted by Kerr to bring the half-century up at 50-15. On 33 minutes the fourth pushover try went to a different scorer this time as Harrison touched down, Howard Monk came on for a brief trundle in place of Steady and Steve James got his double and the final try to round off a good day’s work. I noted down that Adam Kerr kicked both the final conversions but the league put the score as 62-15 so I’m sorry Adam you only get credited with one of them.

This was far and away the best all round performance of the season, Steady commenting that even the touchline monitor must be nearly happy for once, you are right I told him, I nearly am. The pack played as a unit with very few turnovers given away and it was a pleasure to watch older heads show a younger pack how to control a game. The combination play between backs and forwards was excellent and this week a much greater ratio of chances were finished off meaning the Vandals scored the amount of points they should score more often than they do.

It is a bit of a shame that such an excellent performance which looked to have sealed promotion, ultimately didn’t. But never fear, we will look to right that injustice next week when we take on Tarleton at home, kick off time to be announced please check the website. Oh and one last thing skipper, thanks for the post match promotion beers, are you going to bring another lot next week when we have to do it all over again?

Team:  Cardwell B, Worsley, Tomkinson, Stead, Todd, James, Hodgkins, Townsend P, Swindells, Townsend S, Andrews, Storey, Latus, Mahon

Bench:  Harrison, Stanier, Cardwell C, Kerr, Tankard, Monk